What's Doing

Some of you may remember my requests for a list of rock songs last year. If you do, congratulations for paying attention. At the time I wondered why Mr Buck was asking me for a list of thirty one tunes. Well, now all is revealed, as I spotted Nick Hornby’s latest book in the shop this afternoon. Thats right, its called thirty one and is essentially a list of thirty one essays, each about a different song.

Of course, this could just be an enormous coincidence. But I think not. It may take me a while, but Christopher be sure that I will find you out. I did this time.

I couldn’t resist dipping in and sampling the prose of course. Reading the first chapter reminds me that I don’t have nearly enough Teenage Fanclub in my record collection. What I do have is courtesy of the good taste of Richard Billington. Off to the can I have page for me.

Right, I’m off to Minehead for the Marillion Weekend. Back Monday. Amuse yourselves whilst I’m gone.

I am, as they say around these parts, a little on the "porky side" at the moment. I am trying my best not to get any more rotund, so these words of wisdom from Richard Herring, a popular Balham based comedian, rang especially true with me. Cutting to the chase, he says;

.. but losing weight might all be to do with getting off your fat arse once in a while and stopping stuffing your face with chips.

No longer should I consider going on the Atkins diet or the Rosemary Conley low fat diet. Instead I will strive to follow the genitalia obsessed funnyman’s advice. Now, where did I put that packet of dry roasted peanuts?

After a nine month break, I have posted some more photos. The wedding snaps are coming soon, honest.

To prove what a schedule fixated, delivery oriented chap I am I would just like to say that the end date I set myself for this re-design was …

The 31st of October, 2002. I may have to review my estimating techniques somewhat. Until then if I promise to do something, it will be done, just don’t assume it will be soon.

The reason I have been slightly quiter than normal should now be obvious. I’ve been re-designing my whole web site. From the front page;

New for March, 2003. A completely different look for this web site, again. I’ve gone back to basics in the vain hope that my Dad will now be able to read this web site and not complain that the background is black (well, actually a rather attractive dark blue).

Hope you like it Dad.

This weeks winner is "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys", a glowing tribute to the French.

Whilst not necessarily agreeing with the sentiment I do think its a fantastic colection of words, hence the award. I don’t think he coined it, but I first spotted the phrase on Dean Allen’s most excellent blog, Textism.

I’ve just finished reading a book. Steady on now folks, its not that much of a surprise as I have read a few in my time. Anyway, I would just like to use this little web site to urge you all to read it. The author is a chap called John Birmingham, author of such serious tomes as "He Died with a Felafel In His Hand" and "The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco". Both very fine books in their own right, but they pale into the background compared to his 1999 work, Leviathan. If you have ever been to Sydney, lived in Sydney, or even heard of Australia this book is something you should read. Just go out and get hold of a copy now. Trust me, you will thank me.

I could write you a review, but I would rather quote from the afterword,

"History is never bloodless. Someone always gets hurt. And I guess, in the end, I couldn’t draw my eyes away from that. Perhaps then, I should make it clear that I love Sydney. She took me in and made me her own when I was just a starving baby writer, living on friends’ brown couches and bludging meals off the Hare Krishnas to get by. I love it that she didn’t care, dirty trollop that she is. She just threw her arms around me and cried, ‘Here I am baby, come an’ get it!’ I love her beaches, her sunshine, her food and her art. I love her arrogance, her greed and promiscuity. I love her parties and the hangovers that inevitably follow. I love that she loves a good fight. That she knows she is better than anyone else. That you can do things her way or you can shove it."

Thanks in no small part to Mr Templeton I have been tipped over the edge. Bad writing, inappropriate use of words, the English language is a mess. But thats how it develops and grows, and is a large part of the reason that it is the lingua franca of the modern world. Well, that and the battle of Waterloo 😉

But still, there are lines. I’ve drawn mine with the use of "gotten". People, its a non-word, it has ceased to be, please, please, please stop using it. The only reference I could find in the dictionary claims that the word is obsolescent.

I appreciate that those of us living in the civilised (e.g. non-North American) world would rather pour boiling water on our own feet than commit such a heinous crime, so this request is not aimed at most of my smashing readers. But you need to be vigilant! If we are not careful this euphemism will make its way into your everyday speech and then we are all doomed, or at least those of us not too busy touching each other’s bases.

I shall continue my campaign by ridiculing bad English I see around the web or am forced to endure in my email. To protect the guilty I am not going to name names but you can be sure that the grammar police are watching you.

Say hello to today’s candidate for remedial grammar lessons;

"… in general seems to have been having problems over the last month or two regarding slowness in my personal experience."

Doomed, we are all doomed.

Received yesterday;
    “””
    Dear Mr Todd,

    Thank you for your order for Demon Internet services.
    I am happy to inform you that your new ADSL service is due to be enabled
    on 25/02/2003.
    Once again, thank you for choosing Demon Internet.

    Kind regards,
    Demon Internet
    “””
Marvellous. I’m now on the intarweb 24 hours a day. Needless to say Bobo is desolate.