Folks, if you know your SoBig.F from your MsBlast stop reading now. Go and say hello to Scaryduck. Alternatively, if you don’t use Windows on your computer then this probably isn’t much cop either.
Everyone else, listen carefully. After spending an hour or so on the phone to the 70’s throwback last week, and discovering that one of my machines had been infected by a nasty little virus I thought I would bring you "Andy’s Guide to a Stress Free Internet Life". If you don’t ever connect to the internet then you can’t read this, so don’t complain. Alternatively, adopt some of our top tips for top folks and make your online life so much nicer. Here we go;
1. Learn how to install and, more importantly, uninstall, software on your computer. Sadly there isn’t a convenient guide to this anywhere, most people learn by bitter experience. The only words of wisdom I can share are to know what you are installing and to keep a written (on paper) record of what you did to install a piece of software and what answers you gave to the series of questions posed during installation. Its amazing how many people will just download any old .exe from the interenet and then double click on it. Do you know what its going to do? Do you really trust the place you got it from? (this is probably the most important question to ask yourself) Do you have a friendly tame technology savvy friend/acquaintance/relative to sanity check what you are doing? Its your computer. If you break it no one else has to fix it.
2. Don’t read your mail using Microsoft Outlook or Microsoft Outlook Express. All of those nasty internet viruses and worms you hear about are designed to cause as much trouble as possible. Consequently they target the most popular software. Its also helpful that there are a few security problems with these tools (that don’t look like getting fixed any time soon) that a reasonably intelligent nine year old can use to really make your life interesting. You can immediately reduce your potential for infection by not using them. Contrary to popular belief these are not the only tools you can use to read your email. Google lists another fifteen possible options on this page. My personal choice is Thunderbird but that may be a little too "leading edge" for most. If you’ve been paying attention then you shouldn’t blindly download one of these and trust to luck. Do a little research (remember Google is your friend) or just download Eudora if you trust me.
3. Get some anti-virus software. Most new computers come with Norton Anti-Virus installed. Which is great until the thirty day evaluation period runs out and they want to start charging you. Then it gets switched off and its open season for malicious little nasties. There are free alternatives, I run AVG and its just as good as the paid alternatives. There is no excuse not to run an anti virus scan of your computer every couple of weeks or so.
4. The internet can be a scary place, get yourself a rubber mac. Or, failing that a nice firewall. The firewall du jour is Zone Alarm. This stops anyone on the big bad net connecting to your computer and doing anything without your consent. If you have a broadband connection this (or a similar program) is a must. Even if you only connect to the internet by phone you can still be subject to some interesting violations. A decent firewall will stop these.
5. Use Ad-aware. Even if you do take all of the other precautions I’ve listed here there still is the possibility that you can catch a nasty disease. Just because a file you download ends in "mp3" doesn’t mean that it is Hawkwind’s finest work. Periodically running ad-aware will pick up anything that you have inadvertently picked up that hasn’t been discovered by the other tools I’ve mentioned.
The best defence though, is knowledge. Even casual road users need to know their highway code and use an appropriate vehicle. Well kids, the internet isn’t any different and a little light reading every now and then will pay off. At the very least your ISP should provide you with valuable information via their customer service facilities. For instance, here is some good information from Virgin.net.
Here endeth the lesson. The Prefab Sprout love in will recommence shortly.
You’re a very wise man Andy, if you keep on like this you’ll be promoted to guru like Simon. The downside of this is that the drinking takes a very heavy toll. How does next Tuesday sound?
Sadly Steve, I shall be enjoying the dulcet tones of Francis Dunnery somewhere in the Black Country next Tuesday evening. Otherwise I’d be there like a flash.
Sage advice old friend, but I would suggest Spy-Bot over Ad-Aware.
A bit of advice from JonnyP:
Buy a Mac, very few viruses have been written for the mac and most of those that have are not actively nasty.
If you can’t afford a Mac (I can understand this)I whole hardedly support Andy’s choice of Eudora, although I have been known to use Netcape as a mail client (email collection thingy, for those who are not of a technical persuation) on my pc and am quite fond of it (probalby for some stupid sentimental reason, us mac users are like that.
Jon,
Macs are for girls. Well, rich girls. Real men run Linux and you know it. The other problem with Macs (until Mac OS X anyway) is that if you want any software to do *anything* you end up paying for it. Which runs contrary to my skinflint tendencies.
As for Netscape mail, sorry but that is so 1990s. Thats why I recommend Thunderbird which is the latest version of Mozilla mail – which in turn has come from the Netscape code base.