What's Doing

Lest you think I’m not doing anything, I’m actually knee deep in a program to reverse engineer an Oracle schema.

Meanwhile, and not totally coincidentally, I’m beginning to resemble Bob from Teachers. The most common phrase I’m mumbling as a wander around the office at the moment is “and the horse you rode in on.”

But that’s just me.

I had a hard "away day" today, Sitting in a hotel meeting room being filled in on the good old corporate vision. Afterwards we retired to a local hostelry for stick and ball related games and sponsored drinking. For the first time ever I was the first one to leave the pub.

My motivations were complex but did involve getting home at a reasonable hour to say hello to the family. Sadly I was through the door at 9pm, by which time industrial snoozing was the order of the day. Its now an hour and a half later and there is no sign of SWMBO or the son and heir.

There is nothing for it, I may have to fire up the Marillion back catalogue and drink another beer (or two). Bugger.

How can a travesty such as this exist?

What is needed to make the world a better place is not to withdraw the troops from Iraq, or force Jeff Hoon to resign – although they would help. No, what we need to do is boycott Sony Music for inflicting this hideous rubbish on the world. The merchandise isn’t much cop either.

She is a wailing French bint who is frankly a bit rubbish and she should be stopped.

I was subject to, I think, a little karmic payback this morning. I really didn’t want to go to visit our client today, but I got up at 6 anyway.

As I was drinking my coffee and listening to the Candyman before the start of my mammoth journey the travel news came on. The headline item was a major accident on the M3 blocking the road. It had been closed at Junction 6. My journey takes me down the M3 and then off at Junction 7.

What the heck, I figured, it will have cleared by the time I got there. On the way I got held up behind a bin lorry for quarter of an hour, visited a garage which didn’t have any petrol but finally managed to get on my way towards the motorway.

Then I got to the M3. All was sweetness and light for the first couple of junctions. Piece of cake, I thought. Ha. Stuck in a traffic jam for over an hour.

So, I got to my meeting late which meant that it overran and I missed lunch. This was cosmic payback for not wanting to go in the first place. Some short term planning and a quick email later I climbed in the car and drove home again.

Of course, the driving levels of my fellow road users were up to their usual standards. During the drive home I got tailgated. At 85mph. That’s right eighty-bloody-five miles an hour. For those who only operate in metric measures its 136.795 kilometres an hour. And the bugger was four feet from my back bumper. Or a metre and a bit. Anyway, thats not the point. The driver is an idiot.

With a suitable nod to Steve, I hope God has reserved a special level in hell (perhaps just below Level 6 "The Heretics"). If he has, I also hope that he’s reserved a special shelf for people who hang around in the middle lane when there is no other traffic around. You know, the ones who wear the flat caps. Tossers.

Still, they are in a legion above any of the driving I’ve seen in New Zealand.

I was going to let you know about the joys of my weekend. The highs and lows, the triumphs and setback, but then Simon put up a link to meatandcheese.co.uk: any thoughts of that ilk got replaced by me rolling around laughing.

These t-shirts are great and I want one now! A particular favourite around the office was the tourettes one, although I don’t think I’d be allowed to wear it at home. I’ve suggested to the team that we adopt the Computer Club one as official attire, I’ll let you know if the union passes the resolution or not.

These designs are so good that they may prompt Ciaran to abandon his fascination with American geekage and join us Poms in our celebration of rude words.

This weekend will mainly be taken up with watching the cricket and the rugby, learning everything there is to know about JDBC and avoid the copious streams of vomit issuing from my son.

And who said life was dull?

Look, down to the left, there be pictures. Inspired by those typepad blogs I’ve enhanced my currently reading and listening section to show the covers of the appropriate items. Which is nice.

Elsewhere, and for no particular reason, I’ve made my cv available on this page. No reason you understand. None whatsoever.

of original content, let me bring you two pearls of the english language. From Mil Millington;

"I then made the kind of face you’d see on someone who was standing in a wind tunnel having the hairs pulled from their legs."

Then, for the 70’s throwback, from messrs Fagen and Becker;

"Why is he standing in your spangled leather poncho, and your elevator shoes?"

Priceless.

On the music front, the 70’s throwback and I had the pleasure of attending a performance by Francis Dunnery last night at the Robin 2 in Bilston. It was a two hundred mile round trip, but worth it. The gig was, to use the vernacular, bosting. So much so that I’m still humming along to Still Too Young To Remember.

David Blaine, nutbag? Certainly. Entertaining? Perhaps. Poker Faced King of Hokum? Abso-bloody-lutely.

It’s the phrase of the week here at Whats Doing and it comes courtesy of the King of Radio.

When you are hurtling headlong into Winter. As Steve notes, the global marketing machine is winding up for the winter assault on our sensibilities now that we have turned the corner into September.

Here in London the heat wave is well and truly a thing of the past. Bobo has been sneaking the central heating on at home when she thinks I’m not watching and today I actually wore a coat on the way to work for the first time in about three months.

I’m pining for spring time already.